The Benefit of Breaking a Bone (Figuratively!)

Let's talk about something I've been thinking about quite a bit lately as we near the end of the semester and the time of the year where both final grades loom and choices about the fall ahead are being made.  For ASMSA, it's the time of the year where we make our own admissions selections and begin the onboarding and advising processes for our next group of students.  It's the idea that a life without challenges isn't necessarily something to strive for. You see, there's this informal concept, the "Never Broke a Bone" Theory, which I stumbled across recently through a series of TikTok videos. Now, don't get me wrong—I'm not advocating for anyone to break bones, literally or metaphorically. But there's something intriguing about what this theory suggests: that facing challenges and experiencing setbacks is essential for growth. 

The "Never Broke a Bone" Theory is an informal idea that suggests individuals who have never faced significant setbacks or difficulties—akin to never having broken a bone—may lack the experience or skills to effectively handle adversity when it inevitably occurs. The theory is insightful precisely because a lack of setbacks can lead to an unrealistic perception of one's abilities and resilience. Without experiencing smaller, manageable adversities, individuals might find themselves ill-prepared and overwhelmed when confronted with significant challenges later. Essentially, it's about the importance of encountering manageable hardships early on to develop strength, resilience, and the capacity to recover from challenges later in life.

I've talked about this topic in recent posts, but here's a different lens through which to consider things. A student who's never encountered real academic difficulty, never struggled with balancing responsibilities, or never tasted real failure may not have developed the resilience needed for life's inevitable hurdles.

High school, in particular, is the ideal place to put this theory into practice. Consider students who push themselves to take advanced courses or dive into ambitious extracurricular activities. Yes, these challenges might stretch them thin at times, and maybe even lead to setbacks—like a disappointing grade or a research project that just doesn’t work out. But those experiences are incredibly valuable because they offer opportunities for growth and learning how to bounce back.

And here's the thing: high school should provide a critical safety net. When a student stumbles, teachers often notice and step in proactively. Counselors are close by, offering guidance before issues escalate. Families are typically there to support, advocate, and encourage. It’s a structured system designed to catch students as they fall—and then lift them back up again.

But when students transition from high school to college, that safety net changes dramatically. Suddenly, professors aren't always noticing every student's struggles in large lecture halls. Academic advisors and counselors, though available, often require the student to actively seek them out. Families, while supportive, aren't immediately present to notice subtle changes. Students accustomed to smooth sailing and constant support might feel adrift when they hit their first real obstacle.  

This is exactly why experiencing setbacks early—within the supportive environment of high school—is so crucial. When students confront difficulties at this stage, they begin to build a toolkit. They learn to recognize when they're struggling, how to ask for help, and how to adapt their strategies moving forward. They gain confidence not just in their successes, but also in their ability to overcome failures.

And though ASMSA students are still in high school, these are many of the same challenges they'll encounter when they begin their journey with us this fall. It’s crucial that our Student Success initiatives proactively address these challenges, equipping students not just to cope with difficulties but to recognize them early and respond effectively. Our support must be tailored to meet students precisely where they are, providing strategies, guidance, and the reassurance that experiencing setbacks now, while the stakes are manageable and the support system robust, will ultimately empower them for greater independence and success later. 

I've seen this firsthand. Students who initially panic over their first less-than-perfect grade learn to recalibrate their expectations and strategies. They develop stronger study habits, learn how to approach teachers with thoughtful questions, and understand the importance of self-advocacy. By the time these students reach college, they've already built a strong foundation of resilience. They know setbacks are survivable, that reaching out is necessary, and that a moment of struggle doesn't define their worth or potential.

Ultimately, the goal isn't to shelter students from all harm or challenge. Instead, it's to help them face those challenges early on—in a controlled and supportive setting. Because when life inevitably brings bigger storms, they'll be ready to weather them with confidence and resilience.