First Month Finished: A Gifted Parent’s Moment to Connect

After the first month of school, there’s usually a shift that happens. The excitement of the new year has worn off, the fresh notebooks and sharpened pencils don’t feel quite so new anymore, and routines are beginning to set in. For students—especially gifted and talented students—this first month is an important checkpoint. And for parents, it’s the perfect time to pause and have a meaningful conversation about how things are going.

Gifted students are often masters of masking. They might breeze through the first weeks, putting on a confident front, while under the surface they’re wrestling with anxiety, perfectionism, or questions about whether they truly belong in an advanced learning environment. That’s why parents shouldn’t wait until the first report card to check in. By then, patterns are already set, and it’s much harder to adjust course.

So what should these conversations look like? Let’s start with the basics. First, it’s less about gathering data and more about listening. Parents sometimes approach check-ins like they’re doing an audit: What’s your grade in this class? Did you finish your homework? How many friends do you have? But gifted students—really, all students—pick up on that. They don’t want to feel like they’re being measured. What they need is space to reflect and process out loud.

This means asking open-ended questions and then letting silence do the heavy lifting. You might ask, “What’s been the most interesting class so far?” and then give them time to think. Or, “What’s something that surprised you about your first few weeks?” The goal isn’t a quick answer. It’s creating a moment where your student feels safe to share whatever’s on their mind.

And let’s be honest—sometimes those answers will be short. Teenagers are famous for giving the classic one-word reply. That doesn’t mean the conversation isn’t working. Often, the real insights show up later, when they circle back on their own terms. What you’re doing is opening the door and leaving it unlocked, so when they are ready, they’ll walk through.

Another important piece here is balance. Gifted students can feel an immense pressure—sometimes from parents, sometimes from themselves, and often from both. They may think they need to have it all figured out already, to be perfect in every class, to be the standout in every club. A check-in after the first month is a chance to remind them that struggling in a class doesn’t mean failure, that making friends takes time, and that being busy isn’t the same as being successful.

This is also the point in the semester when well-being starts to matter even more. Sleep can get sacrificed, stress creeps in, and students might not yet have built healthy coping strategies. Parents can gently bring this up by asking how their student is recharging outside of school. Not every moment has to be filled with productivity. Sometimes, what a gifted student needs most is permission to rest.

And don’t forget the social side. For many gifted students, friendships are a huge part of what makes school meaningful. Yet, they can also struggle to find peers who share their interests or match their intensity. A simple, non-judgmental question like, “Who do you usually sit with at lunch?” can open up bigger conversations about belonging. If they don’t feel like they’ve found their people yet, it’s a chance for parents to reassure them that friendships take time to grow.

Finally, use this moment to look ahead together. The first month of school is behind them, but there’s a whole semester stretching forward. Asking, “What’s one thing you’d like to accomplish by winter break?” or “What are you most looking forward to in the next few weeks?” shifts the conversation from looking back to looking forward. It encourages students to set goals and anticipate positive experiences, not just react to what’s already happened.

What’s most important is that these check-ins aren’t interrogations. They’re invitations. Invitations for students to share their reality, however messy, however incomplete. Parents of gifted students sometimes feel pressure to always be the coach, the advisor, the problem-solver. But the most powerful role they can play is simply to be present. To listen. To notice. To remind their student that they are seen and supported, not just for their achievements, but for who they are.

So, as you move past that first month of school, take some time to pause. Ask the open-ended question. Sit with the silence. And let your student know that this journey is not something they have to navigate alone. Because whether they’re soaring, struggling, or somewhere in between, what matters most is that they know you’re walking alongside them.